I truly believe that my marriage is going to be completely fine. After calming down and reflecting on everything I really feel like he was just reacting to the stress and pressure he was feeling. I don't think he even really wants a divorce...he just wants me to listen and for us to fix some things that should've been addressed years ago.
Last night he was so sweet when he got home. He kept going on and on about how much he loved me & how gorgeous I was & how he could never live without me. I played it cool - not distant just not needy either. He kept saying he couldn't wait to be with me the next morning too. I told myself to just be happy no
matter what we did.
We woke up early this morning & he wanted to cuddle. We were all curled up for about two hours sleeping off and on, just enjoying the closeness of each other.He got up later and took a shower but I fell back asleep. Well, he woke me up the very best way he can, if you know what I mean, lol!! :) Then we came downstairs to eat some breakfast. He turned on Survivor and we ended up watching the two episodes we had recorded. After that we watched American Pickers and had lunch. All morning he was so affectionate and attentive. He
kept just staring at me & telling me how much he loved me. It was so great. When it was time for him to leave for work he kept saying he didn't want to leave me and that he'd miss me.
So, my take on the morning.....I am shocked at how he's acting! I really don't think these are the actions of a man that doesn't love his wife & wants to divorce her. Do you think so?
I also think that I can make the changes that are necessary but I'm going to have to be very conscious of it. Today, when I was focused on making the right choices, I was shocked by how much sex is the only thing that "counts" in my book. For example, when we woke up & were cuddling and sleeping I had to tell
myself not to try to start sex or talk about sex. Instead I just enjoyed the closeness and it was awesome. And, of course, he ended up wanting the same thing after his shower which probably wouldn't have happened if I'd nagged him about it earlier. Then when we were watching Survivor I could feel myself wanting to ask if we could cuddle upstairs and watch it. I was even starting to feel mad that he wanted to watch it down in the living room instead of our bed. But then I told myself that he just wants to chill in his chair, that he could've turned on Fox News or something else I don't like to watch, but instead he wanted to
start trying to catch up on all our shows. And he picked Survivor, which is my favorite of the ones we have right now! Again, the "pay off" was that he was practically falling over himself to tell me how much he loved me. If I'd made a big deal about staying downstairs (which I would've before yesterday) we might've gone up but he would've been distant the whole time.
So many little changes. I really need to be aware of every little thing or awhile. I know it'll get easier and easier though. Today I've been busy. I had to go to the doctor for a check up & made some deliveries for a charity I help with. He's been texting me a bunch again & I'm writing back when I can. It feels good to not be completely in a tizzy over him, what he's thinking and so on!