Wow, wow, wow, it is amazing what a difference a few days can make! The last time I wrote about the Duct Tape Challenge, on day four I believe, I was very upset with myself and felt like I was failing. That day I decided to change my approach. For most of the last 20 years of our marriage, I have not been very confident. No matter what my DH said, I didn't think I was sexy, hot, attractive or desirable. I know that drives him crazy. He gets frustrated about my lack of self esteem
So, as of day four, I decided I needed to do things differently. Basically I need to just believe him. I don't have to be "hot" or "sexy" by the world's standards. I only need to be those things in the eyes of my husband. He is who matters and he is who I want to impress. That evening, after beating up on myself for a few hours, I decided that I was going to "fake it till I made it" so to speak. I was going to pretend that I am confident and sexy.
During the evening, I texted him a few times but he didn't answer me. I knew it was because he was frustrated about me being so needy. I decided I needed to do something drastic to show him that I was going to change my behavior. So, when he got home from work, I was waiting in a little nighty. His eyes about bugged out of his head, lol! He reacted just the way I had hoped and it was wonderful.
The next day, and throughout the weekend, I kept up the new confident, sexy, seducing attitude. He is just eating it up. He keeps looking at me like I'm the best thing he's ever seen. I love that feeling! The funny thing is that after some "fake it till you make it" behavior, I'm actually starting to believe it. Now, don't get me wrong, I realize that most of the world might not agree with my husband but he thinks I'm sexy and that is all that matters!
The most amazing thing that has come out of this new mindset is the way I feel when we don't have sex, or he isn't over affectionate with me. Usually I immediately think there is something wrong with me and get all down on myself. But now, I just think that he's tired and he wishes we were going to be together. So much less stress and pressure! I continue to feel sexy and desirable, knowing that as soon as he isn't tired he'll be searching me out. What an awesome improvement!!
The New Me