Well, unfortunately, I'm failing completely at the "Duct Tape Challenge". Honestly, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me! It's like I don't have a brain in my head. I know what works and doesn't work. I know the reaction I'll get depending on my behavior. But yet, I keep on making bad decisions then crying about the results.
I do great for a little while, keep the duct tape on and just enjoy the attention my DH is offering. He reacts just the way I want. It's almost fun. I feel sexy and beautiful. I feel like he wants me and is chasing me. He immediately changes the way he acts too. He is more aggressive in his pursuit of me. He's more interested in what I'm doing. He makes a bigger effort to engage me & interact with me. I love it! I love the way it feels, the fun it is to be chased, and especially how happy DH seems!
But then something small will happen, like he'll be tired and kinda ignoring me or I'll try to give him a hug or whatever & he doesn't respond. Silly things that really don't mater at all, especially in the time frame of only a few hours. And I'll mess up, start obsessing & nagging, begin comparing myself to other girls and acting all insecure, begging him for attention and affection. He gets frustrated, stubborn and pulls away. Who could blame him? Immediately all the fun we're having is gone. I begin to feel like I have to hold so tight to keep his attention but all I'm really doing is pushing him further away. When will I ever learn?
I was talking with a friend on Facebook a little while ago & she said something that really stuck with me. She said "You have to distract your brain until you have the control to get the thoughts going elsewhere." That is so true! I tend to really obsess on things, especially when they are related to my DH & sex. In truth, this is what I need to fix. I need to find a way to break that obsessive behavior. To find a way to distract my brain and focus on something else.
If things aren't going the way I want them to, or if he isn't giving me enough affection/sex/attention then I begin to obsess. In my brain suddenly he thinks I'm ugly, not sexy, not hot, he doesn't want to be married to me, he doesn't want to touch/kiss/whatever me at all. I feel as though I have to talk to him about it and have him reassure me. That leads to much bigger problems because he gets frustrated & stubborn with me. He can't understand what I'm freaking out about because he thinks I'm beautiful, sexy, hot, & very desirable but HE'S JUST TIRED!
So, although I really need to keep the duct tape on, I also need to find a way to break the obsessive behaviors. Any advice? Maybe I could think of something he's said to me that made me feel happy, or I could remember a time recently when we were especially close. I also think it would help to think of a short thing to say to myself whenever I begin to feel obsessive. Maybe something like "You're the best, he just needs his rest!" or "Be the confident one and you're bound to have some fun". It seems kinda silly but it might work!
The New Me