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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Feeling Very Down Tonight

Gosh, my hormones must really be out of whack!  I am feeling very down, blue, sad, depressed, hormonal, menopausal, lonely, weepy, and any other sad word you can think of.  I've literally been crying off and on all evening long.  I hate this!

Even though I really think it is just my hormones I start going through reasons why I'm sad.  I miss my husband because he's been working a lot, we haven't gotten to text much while he's at work, I miss our daughter who is away at college, I'm stressed about a big decision I need to make, my husband and I haven't had much "cuddling" time recently.  The list can go on and on.  But honestly, even those things are bugging me they shouldn't be making me cry this much.  It's crazy!  I suppose that is where the hormones & menopause come into the picture.

I've been trying to just take really good care of myself tonight.  I'm blessed that I don't have to work or really have any major responsibilities.  I've been letting myself cry as much as I need to, lots of crocheting, reading, and catching up on television shows.  Unfortunately, that isn't helping too much.  Maybe I need a few more days of just babying myself.

The hard thing is going to be when my husband gets home from work.  He's so sweet and will probably be able to tell right away that I've been crying.  He'll ask what is wrong and I don't know what I'm going to say.  Probably just that my hormones are out of whack.  I really hate to load all of this stuff on his shoulders.  He shouldn't have to worry about me all the time.  He shouldn't feel like my happiness depends on if we've had much time together, if we have texted any, or if we've been having lots of sex.  He has a lot of things on his shoulders and even though they are nice and broad I shouldn't heap more on to them!

Hopefully writing here will help me.  I struggle with thinking things are terrible when I'm hormonal like this.  I read serious problems into little things.  I don't want to do that this time.  I just want to realize that it's hormones, that I need to really pamper myself for awhile, and that I'll be feeling better before I know it!

Bye,
The New Me

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